How our Troops *Go to War*
For those that may not know, there ARE certain rules that ALL branches of the U.S. Armed Forces follow religiously. Below you will find the proper way to Go to War for certain branches and divisions.
Marine Recon Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a ’4.’
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Laterally and diagonally preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.Navy SEAL Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.US Army Ranger Rules:
1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75-pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from ‘Higher Authority’ to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75-pound rucksack while starving.US Army Rules:
1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; they can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.US Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on HBO.
4. Ask ‘What is a gunfight?’
5. Request more funding from Congress with a ‘killer’ Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & Dine ”key’ Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets ‘strategic’ and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.
11. Make sure that The Club and the golf course are in close proximity.
12. Remember, injuries sustained while playing handball do not qualify for a Purple Heart or V.A. disability.US Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines
4. Drink Coffee
God Bless them, each and every one, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Army National Guard, Air National Guard and Coast Guard! Stay safe!
For those that have served, you’ll know that this bit of *levity* is a lot closer to the truth than some may want to admit. 
For those that DIDN’T serve, and wish to define their denigration of the military as playful levity, you can kiss our collective asses! You haven’t earned the RIGHT to speak ill of ANYONE that wears, or has worn the uniform, and then tell repeated LIES regarding your intent!
The Airforce wasn’t that bad, they did give us rides everywhere we needed to go.
John Looney
3rd Ranger Batt / Eco. 51st Inf (LRS)(ABN)
Air Force: Sit in nice air conditioned office while directed the flight of the drone over enemy HQ. Destroy enemy HQ with drone. Call it a day, drive home, hug kids.
The “Air Force that I was in was a little different than Fred described.
When I was in Korea, 52-53
I operated heavy equipment with my carbine in my lap.
I was the commander on our one and only “tank”, which by the way was the only radio we had that could pick up (barely) a stateside radio station emanating from none other than good old Del Reo. Texas. GO Texas!!! LOL at the memories.
As for the Navy, they still probably drank coffee, but one of their jets from an Aircraft carrier had a flyby every morning at 7:30 at about 100 feet in altitude an about 300 mph to,…. more or less was said, ….to wake us up, and again at about 5:00pm to ” tuck us in for the night” LOL
And I’ve had people ask me if I flew an airplane when I was in the Air Force. hahahahaha
MARINE: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.
Semper Fi.
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To all you squids who wander by here – thanks for the rides.
Really.
We couldn’t do anything without you dropping our sorry butts off in the most god-forsaken terrain and then bugging out to a safe distance until we needed picked up again. Or, until the Rangers showed up in time to make the six o’clock news …
Navy Rules remind me of my Navy days. Coffee during the week and on weekends when aboard that clear stuff that would eat through the bottom of a paper cup. During the year I was aboard the old Yorktown only went to flight deck twice. We just tracked Russian subs up and down the west coast, but all the while I was below, drilling and filling—-teeth!
Very enjoyable Fred. From one who has not served in the military(not for lack of trying to join three times, 4F three times due to really, really bad knees) I come from a long line of of those who served in military and served with honor. These relatives, father, grandfather and many uncles made sure I knew what our military meant to our freedom and liberties that so many now take for ‘granted or condemn’.
Thank you, everyone one of you who have or are serving.
You are prayed over everyday.
OOOHHHRRRAAAAAAA!!!!!
Semper Fi
Do or die
Dang, that is SOOOOO true!
BZ
Air Force Rules hit the nail on the head.
I was sent to George AFB, CA back in 1977 to repair a C-141 that was picking up Army troops returning form desert maneuvers. We worked out of a trailer in a large aircraft hangar where the Army troops were waiting. Since we needed an engine run to verify the repairs and the aircrew had gone into crew rest, we had to wait until morning to certify the maintenance. Now, the Army troops had to sleep on the hangar floor and their senior officers and NCO’s also slept in the open hangar but on cots. We were in the trailer with the MAC/ALCE folks and about 6 Army Officers and a few Senior NCO’s. We mechanics were two E-4’s and an E-5 supervisor. We were arguing amongst ourselves on which of the two best motels in Victorville, CA we were going to spend the night. We failed to notice these very senior in rank Army personnel were watching us with disdain. Three junior enlisted men were getting hotel rooms for the night and they slept in an open hangar with birds and bats flying around. But, their plane was fixed and they all flew home safely the next morning
Fred you left one thing out; the Marine film crews. Everyone knows that the Marine TO&E alots a film crew with each unit. lol.
My 2nd ex husband (don’t say anything! LOL!!!) was an electrician’s mate on the Saratoga. He talked about the “high octane coffee”. It seems certain amount of aviation fuel found it’s way into the ship’s water supply and made for some interesting, eye opening java! I never could make coffee strong enough for that man!!!