CHICAGO (AP) — The Reverend Jesse Jackson is being treated at a Chicago hospital after experiencing severe stomach pains.

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Jesse Jackson in hospital for stomach pains

Sarah Palin is a powerful woman. She knocked it OUT of the park and it gave Je$$ie a belly ache. I love Sarah Palin!

DETROIT (AP) - Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to felony charges Thursday in a sex scandal, forcing him out of office after months of defiantly holding onto his job leading the nation’s 11th-largest city. He was ordered jailed for four months and fined $1 million.

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Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick pleads guilty, resigns

Ya know, it’s a damned shame that felony crimes committed while in office aren’t a *hanging* offense. This guy needs to taken to a tall tree, with a short rope. A bit of assembly is required.

MAKHACHKALA, Russia (AP) — Police say that five suspected militants have been killed in a security sweep in a restive Russian province near Chechnya. Police spokesman Mark Tolchinsky says police and security forces acting on a tip surrounded a house in Khasavyurt in the Caspian Sea province of Dagestan Thursday and demanded that suspected militants surrender.

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Russian police kill 5 militant suspects

That bunch of moonbat *anarchists* in Minneapolis?? Yeah, those guys. Uh, just thinkin’ out loud here, but you know, with the destructive nature of those idiots, maybe this wouldn’t be a bad policy to enact once in a while. Just sayin’…

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. (AP) - Democratic vice presidential nominee Joe Biden said Thursday that he will vigorously challenge Republican Sarah Palin on the issues, but will refrain from personal attacks.

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Biden to vigorously challenge Palin on issues

And Sarah Palin is going to kick Biden a new ass. That man is NOT ready for the Sarahcuda! And IF Biden does go personal, it’s all over, he will look like the ass that he is. Do I sound a bit Pro Palin?

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Alaska National Guard, which Republicans are pointing to as an important national-security credential for vice presidential choice Sarah Palin, has personnel shortages that make its aviation units the most poorly staffed in the nation.

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Palin’s national guard faces a crisis in personnel

Of course the VERY left leaning AP is going to use that deceptive headline in a very weak attempt to denigrate Palin. Here’s the deal, the Governor IS the CiC of the state Guard, but has NOTHING to do with recruiting and/or retention of personnel! That is the job of the Guard and it’s recruiters. Palin’s Guard? Yeah, nice try AP, you messed up, but it was a nice try…