The PERFECT DAY — January 20, 2017

The PERFECT DAY — January 20, 2017

American Freedom Eagle

1. President Donald Trump and Vice President Chris Christie are sworn into office.

2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare.

The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud.

Government’s costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S improves 100%.

3. Trump announces the immediate deployment of Troops to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and to begin immediate deportation of illegals, ALL illegals.

New bio-encrypted Social Security ID’s are required by every American citizen.

Birthright citizenship is abolished. All immigration from countries that represent a threat to the safety of American citizens is terminated indefinitely. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.

4. Newly appointed Secretary of Business and Economic Development Carly Fiorina eliminates more than half of the Government agencies operating under the Obama administration saving taxpayers billions of dollars. Stocks rise 100%.

5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page.

The instructions consist of two pages.

The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.

6. Hillary Clinton is in jail, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for “Hate Crimes”.  

She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.

Bill interrupts his philandering once every 6 months to visits Hillary.  

7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthews and Al Franken. 

They meet for tea every day at ten and discuss the success and benefits of
Communism and Socialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership” is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.  

8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7 except it is easier to use.

9. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness and returns to his homeland of Kenya before his trial for treason begins. He deplanes on a remote jungle airstrip. It was reported that he was last seen wandering through the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata”.

10. Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.

11. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.

12. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago, a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois.

And this my friends is the perfect day.

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10 Responses to The PERFECT DAY — January 20, 2017

  1. Ron Stabb says:

    Good one Fred. Heaven on earth. We can only hope(and vote).

  2. Linda says:

    Absolutely! What a great PERFECT day! I hope Trump makes it without being killed or the prize stolen from him by the ‘elite’.

  3. Wayne says:

    I’m still laughing as I write this. What a great dream to have. This is what America would look like if the adults were in charge. We’re headed out to the voting booth now Fred and I don’t have to tell you who we are going to vote for.

  4. BobF says:

    Most Excellent!!!

  5. Petermc3 says:

    Thanks for keeping the dream alive Fred. But where will the sparkle twins John and Mitt McCain be on 1/20/2017 and who will give two shits?

  6. mystere says:

    I agree with most of this with some exceptions: Pillbury Doughnut boy Chrispie Chreme Christie will not be the VP. I see Booboo Clinton in prison as well. His lips won’t be wrapped around a saxophone mouthpiece. They will be wrapped around something else that his cellmates Tiny, Momo and Big Bubba give to him for their entertainment. Bill Clinton ends up croaking in prison, with Hildebeest following soon after. Chelsea is also in the pokey for aiding and abetting her parents in their crime sprees from 1993-2016. The 0bama family is also serving time for their grand embezzlement of taxpayer dollars. The girls are tried and convicted as adults, spending 25 years to life in a military stockade, along with Smelly Shelley, while 0bama and his hate pastor Jeremiah Wright are serving time for sentences enhanced with hate crime statutes applied to them. Nancy Pelosi is sentenced to death for treason along with Harry Reid and Barbara Boxer.

  7. dekare says:

    Throw in a lottery win and a chance romantic encounter with Jennifer Anniston, and I will think I have died and gone to heaven.

    Still a darn good day…and if we are lucky, some of this just may come true. 😮 )

  8. J.R. Odum says:

    One more… Obama and all his sorry ass kinfolk deported to Kenya…

  9. OregonBuzz says:

    Dare we hope?

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