The Mexican Navy

The Mexican Navy

A while back the Mexican government wanted a Navy, a big one. They wanted to be a world power on the high seas.

The Mexican government began to do research on exactly what it was going to take to build a Navy. They priced the ships they wanted to build and were sad to find that they were immediately out of luck due to the massive costs involved.

Not to be deterred, they then began to look into buying used ships from other nations, ships that were about be retired and decommissioned.

As it turns out, even that was beyond the price range of the Mexican government, so, they had an idea that maybe they could just buy one mighty ship, and the search continued.

They got the price of a used aircraft carrier, a battle ship, a cruiser, a destroyer, even a used submarine was considered. Again, ALL of these vessels were out of reach for the Mexicans.

It was at this time that the most brilliant Mexican designer to ever live came forth and offered a solution. He would build the Mexican government a ship, a submarine actually, and he would do so at a very cheap rate as well.

So, this brilliant Mexican engineer and his team begin construction on Mexico’s very 1st submarine, but, there was a bit of a glitch. There was only enough money to build a 2-man *midget sub*.

The work on this *midget sub* continued for several weeks and the sub was finally launched. 

The crowd roared as the crew boarded the new Mexican Navy sub to begin sea trials off of the Mexican coast. What follows is a description of the activities in the ensuing weeks.

The Captain and Engineer are in position and the Captain says: “Senor Engineer, theese is your Captain, take theese submarine down to 50 feet and scheck for leaks!”

The Engineer replies, “Senor Captain, theese is Senor Engineer, the submarine is at 50 feet and we got NO leaks!”

The Captain says, “Senor Engineer, theese is your Captain, take theese submarine down to 100 feet and scheck for leaks!”

The Engineer replies, “Senor Captain, theese is Senor Engineer, the submarine is at 100 feet and we got NO leaks!”

The Captain says, “Senor Engineer, theese is your Captain, take theese submarine down to 250 feet and scheck for leaks!”

The Engineer replies, “Senor Captain, theese is Senor Engineer, the submarine is at 250 feet and we got NO leaks!”

The Captain says, “Senor Engineer, theese is your Captain, take theese submarine down to 500 feet and scheck for leaks!”

Sadly, as the sub was diving to 500 feet, it suddenly broke up and was completely destroyed.

The Captain was killed, but by some miracle, the Engineer lived and once he was able to testify, the Mexican Navy conducted an inquiry to determine what exactly had happened.

The Mexican Navy official asks the Engineer, “Senor Engineer, please to tell us, what happened to our beautiful, and very expensive submarine!”

The Engineer tells his tale like this.

“Senor Captain orders me to take the submarine to 50 feet and scheck for leaks, so I take the submarine to 50 feet and we got no leaks!”

“Senor Captain orders me to take the submarine to 100 feet and scheck for leaks, so I take the submarine to 100 feet and we got no leaks!”

“Senor Captain orders me to take the submarine to 250 feet and scheck for leaks, so I take the submarine to 250 feet and we got no leaks!”

“Senor Captain orders me to take the submarine to 500 feet and scheck for leaks!”

“Well Senor Navy official, it’s like theese, on the way to 500 feet, the damned adobe collapsed.”

And that’s why I don’t believe a Mexican Space Program is a very good idea…