Archive for the 'Humor, or is it?' Category

How ‘TEXAS’ Are You??

Thursday, March 1st, 2007
You Are 100% Texas
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. This ain’t your first rodeo!
How Texas Are You?

I love these little ’surveys’ from time to time, they’re fun, they’re a break in the action and with this one at least, it was fairly accurate…

Take the test and post the results in the comments section…

And a TEXAS ‘hat tip’ to Sprittibee for posting this…

I LOVE Hate Mail…

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

As promised, Hate Mail will be published for all to enjoy:

So, here it is in all it’s glory, exactly as I received it except I took the story from AP out, you can follow the link to it if you wish…

From: carlos coronado <[email protected]>

Date: Feb 23, 2007 5:18 PM

Subject: Hi SIR read this

To: [email protected]


You are like looser wasting you time talking shit and you goverment try to sell weapon to venezuela to make american living so sad ,hello i know youare texas cowboy don’t know nothing except cow so good luck …

suckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk gringo……………………

I am really impressed with your command of the English language Carlos, you have really proven yourself to one well educated and well spoken person, I look forward to more of your informative emailing, really, I do… I can always use a good laugh…

The truth, and nothing but the truth…

Saturday, January 27th, 2007
Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Peter Jennings said, “I am Canadian, so I’d like to hear the song “O Canada” one last time.” The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag Musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.”

The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.

“What?” asked the leader? “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his fatigues, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leaped to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire.

In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?”

“What??” replied the Marine, “And have you three assholes report that I was the aggressor?”

Stolen From:
American and Proud

Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously

Thursday, January 18th, 2007
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like…..night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

10. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

14. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

15. OK, . . . . so what’s the speed of dark?

16. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness! pays off now.

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

22. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

23. Just remember - if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

24. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

25. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates; it’s more like a jar of Jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Caption this Pic:

Thursday, January 18th, 2007
The MSM Claims:
Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, left, laugh with Bolivia’s President Evo Morales holds his hand during the inauguration of Rafael Correa as new president of Ecuador in Quito, Monday, Jan. 15, 2007.
Iran Warns It’s Ready for Nuke Standoff

I think it was more like:
“Hey, a little higher, yeah, there, right there, You will like
me a lot better than those goats you have been going with…
Yes… Yes… There!!!! Right THERE YOU BASTARD!!!

FOXNews: He’s dead…

Friday, December 29th, 2006

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Shamelessly STOLEN from SevenStripes
Any time now, this will make for a dandy after Christmas present…

According to FOXNews, they have reports that Saddam IS dead, they say their source is an Arab wire service… Edits to follow…

EDIT: is saying ‘unconfirmed’…

EDIT: Full Story Here:
Reports: Saddam Executed in Baghdad

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Some Arab media, including Saudi-owned Al-Arabiya and the U.S.-financed Al-Hurrah, reported about an hour before daylight Saturday (about 10 p.m. EST Friday) that Saddam had been executed. There was no confirmation from the Iraqi government.
A U.S. judge on Friday refused to stop Saddam’s execution, rejecting a last-minute court challenge.

U.S. District Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly said U.S. courts do not have jurisdiction to interfere in another country’s judicial process. The ruling can be appealed, but it was issued within an hour of the time Iraqi officials said they expected the execution to be carried out.

Saddam and others were convicted of murder in the killings of 148 Shiite Muslims from an Iraqi town where assassins tried to kill Saddam in 1982.

Also to be hanged were Saddam’s half-brother Barzan Ibrahim and Awad Hamed al-Bandar, the former chief justice of the Revolutionary Court, the adviser said.

We went to Iraq to take out Saddam and remove the WMD’s… So far, no WMD’s of ANY consequence have been found and Saddam is REALLY removed from power… The party is over, the mission really IS accomplished, let’s get the hell OUT of Iraq… Nation building was NEVER on the agenda, well, not until ALL the other reasons Bush gave fell to pieces… Bring our guys home Mr. President…

What Sports Car are YOU??

Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

I’m a Lamborghini Murcielago!

You’re not subtle, but you don’t want to be. Fast, loud, and dramatic, you want people to notice you, and then get out of the way. In a world full of sheep, you’re a raging bull.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.


Christmas Tequila Cookies…

Sunday, December 17th, 2006

1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (two sticks) butter
1 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit (dried cranberries or raisins)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all purpose flour
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila (silver or gold, as desired)

First, sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the Cuervo to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour another 4 ounces in a measuring cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of the butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK. Try another 4 ounces, just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, picking the frigging fruit off the floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a screwdriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt or something.

Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through t he window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas