A Dear Abby fan in Beaumont, TX…
Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.
My parents live in Fort Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana.
They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.
My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview, She is a part time “working girl”.
All things considered, my problem is this.
I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family.
I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation in Beaumont
Dear Worried About My Reputation in Beaumont,
Honey, you have a lot more problems than I am going to address.
Abby
That could actually be a deal breaker.
Abby Responds:
“Hell no. This is the cousin that you need to either keep deep in the worst available family basement, or driven out to state highway 302 in Mentone, Loving County, Tejas and kicked out the door to the scorpions.”
BZ
LMAO…
Gotta get those priorities straight for sure.
Good one bro.
LOL, damn…