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Pentagon Disputes Parts of Iraq Report

August 30th, 2007 . by TexasFred

WASHINGTON (AP) – Stung by the bleak findings of a congressional audit of progress in Iraq, the Pentagon has asked that some of the negative assessments be revised, a military spokesman said Thursday.

Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell said that after reviewing a draft of the Government Accountability Office report – which has not yet been made public – policy officials “made some factual corrections” and “offered some suggestions on a few of the actual grades” assigned by the GAO.

The Associated Press has learned that the GAO report will conclude that at least 13 of the 18 benchmarks set to judge the Iraqi government’s performance in the political and security arenas haven’t been met.

“We have provided the GAO with information which we believe will lead them to conclude that a few of the benchmark grades should be upgraded from ‘not met’ to ‘met,’” Morrell said. He declined to elaborate or to spell out which of the benchmark grades the Pentagon was disputing.

“We have provided the GAO with information which we believe will lead them to conclude that a few of the benchmark grades should be upgraded from ‘not met’ to ‘met,’” Morrell said. He declined to elaborate or to spell out which of the benchmark grades the Pentagon was disputing.

What the hell?? The DoD gives the GAO the job of grading the Iraq debacle, the GAO does that job and is going to announce that Iraq is seriously lacking in their performance, so the DoD suddenly has some ‘new and improved’ information on the Iraqi debacle that will show it in a more favorable light?

Why don’t they just get Billy Mays to go in between Ka-Boom commercials and let that annoying asshat do a DoD Pro-Mo for them, I can see it now, Billy Mays, in his loud and annoying voice:

“Hi, Billy Mays here, speaking to you today for the Department of Defense concerning the new report on the effectiveness of the Iraqi government. Are you tired of those same old results from the MSM concerning Iraq?? Are you just fed up with the way Iraq looks on your TV and computer screen?? Well we now have ‘Sunshine in a Bottle’, it’s guaranteed to brighten up your outlook on Iraq and make you feel better all over, BUT WAIT!!”

“If you call within the next 10 minutes and tell one of our special operators that you heard about ‘Sunshine in a Bottle’ thru this special offer, we’ll include our high pressure sprayer and application device, that’s right, the high pressure sprayer and application device with an extended reach nozzle, that way you can blow sunshine up YOUR OWN ass, and that’s not all, for our 1st time customers we’ll also throw in a years supply of ‘Bullshit Repellent’ and if you call RIGHT NOW we’ll double the order, that’s right, 2 bottles of our new ‘Sunshine in a Bottle’, 2 high pressure sprayers with extended reach application device, you can blow sunshine up YOUR ass and your friends ass at the same time, and 2 large bottles of bullshit repellent to keep all those bloggers that make too much sense go away and leave you alone, all this for a low one time payment of $389.99, and if you call NOW we’ll also throw in a CD of Alberto Gonzales singing Mexican Christmas Carols as our FREE gift to you! I’m Billy Mays and we’re standing by waiting for your orders, CALL US NOW!!”

At the White House, officials argued that the GAO report, which was required by legislation President Bush signed last spring, was unrealistic because it assigned “pass or fail” grades to each benchmark, rather than assessing whether the Iraqis have made progress toward reaching the benchmark goals.

“A bar was set so high, that it was almost not to be able to be met,” White House deputy press secretary Dana Perino said. “On the other hand, one of the things it does not take into account, which is not on the benchmark list, is the cooperation of the Sunni tribes, who have decided to fight back against al-Qaida.”

The bar was set too high?? OK, expecting a nation to stand on it’s own and to actually think that they would stand and fight for their country is setting the bar too high?

Ya know, given the apathy I see among some people in this nation, maybe that IS setting the bar too high.

Full Story Here:
Pentagon Disputes Parts of Iraq Report

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6 Responses to “Pentagon Disputes Parts of Iraq Report”

  1. comment number 1 by: Robert

    LMAO, Can’t comment, too busy dialing for the sunshine blower…… ROTFLMAO!!!

  2. comment number 2 by: Debbie

    That’s great. Billy Mays … BUT WAIT !!! Sunshine in a Bottle. Order Now. Buy some for your neighbors, as Christmas presents, [SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS]

    You’ve outdone yourself! I have that picture in my mind, can’t get it out, … sprayers, water, bottles, ouch!

  3. comment number 3 by: jo

    OMG…I’m roflmao ,too. And I agree with Debbie…you have outdone yourself !
    Carry on !!!!

  4. comment number 4 by: sbeene

    Maybe, if a large group of people in WDC use that Sunshine in a Bottle, it just might help them dislodge their head from that dark place they have had it in.

  5. comment number 5 by: Mac

    YES! Billy Mays! Any time the boy’s being too loud, I have to give him the “USE YOUR INSIDE-VOICE BILLY MAYS! This ain’t no damn infomercial!”. The wife loves that one.

  6. comment number 6 by: Miss Beth

    Gawd Fred, I NEEDED that laugh! Good job!