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You Might Be a Liberal If…

August 29th, 2009 . by TexasFred

You Might Be a Liberal If…

IQ tests should be used to stop the death penalty, but not to determine admission to AP classes.

The Ten Commandments in schools will hurt the children, but “Heather Has Two Mommies� won’t.

African-American, Queer and Women’s Studies prepare young people for good careers, but a biology major is an outdated relic of white, misogynist domination.

College students must protest the President (before Obama was elected), but never challenge anything the professor says.

Math tests are racist, but there is nothing racist about blacks being admitted over more qualified white applicants.

Spending 4 years – make that 5 years – repeating your professor’s liberal slogans is a solid education, but demanding that colleges present all view-points and actually teach the subject is “anti-intellectualismâ€?.

McCarthyism was wrong, but black-listing “right-wingers� from ever teaching in college is just plain old common sense. A right-winger is anyone who doesn’t toe the line on all issues.

Education is about “feeling�, not knowing. Logic is the product of white male supremacy in our culture.

After spending 5 years in college, you still don’t know when the Civil War took place and you are absolutely certain it had nothing to do with freeing black slaves.

Meat is bad for you. So is milk. But marijuana gets you ready for your finals.

AIDS is caused by poverty. So is crime. And membership in the Republican party.

You march to raise awareness about breast cancer, but believe it’s caused by sexism and infant mortality is caused by racism.

You want to outlaw cigarettes and legalize marijuana.

Global Cooling for 10 years proves that there is global warming.

You fly on private jets, but feel free to tell others to use only one square of toilet paper to save the environment.

You think that using less toilet paper will be good for the air.

The best way to care about a disease is to wear a ribbon. You must also prevent pharmaceutical companies from making a profit.

People should be allowed to euthanize themselves, but not to eat in McDonald’s.

Career welfare recipients are fat because they can’t afford food.

You preach to everyone that diversity is our greatest strength, but you paid half a million dollars more for a house in an all-white suburb than you could’ve for the same house in a black neighborhood.

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