A Nightmare!
Thursday, April 3rd, 2008In the interest of fairness, and in holding with my policy of being an ‘equal opportunity racist‘, I am guessing this post will offend nearly everyone! Yeah, it’s old and corny, but it made me laugh, and Ol’ Broad sent it, so, here ya go, enjoy it and laugh, or not, your choice.
A Nightmare!
In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I’m circumcised!?
Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver’s license photo and it was that same color. Black.
I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it’s a wheelchair!!
That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I’m also disabled!!
I said to myself, aloud ‘This is impossible. It’s impossible that I should be black, Jewish and disabled.’
‘It’s the pure and holy truth’, whispers someone from behind me.
I turn around, and it’s my boyfriend.
Just what I needed!! I’m a homosexual, and on top of that I have a Mexican boyfriend..
Oh, my God… Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, and then I discover that I’m also a drug addict and HIV-positive!!
Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and… Oh, noooooo.. I’m bald!!!
The telephone rings. It’s my brother.
He is saying, ‘Since Mom and Dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap… Any job.’
Mom?… Dad?… Nooooooooo… Now I’m also an unemployed orphan??
I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you’re black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan.. But he doesn’t get it..
Frustrated, I hang up.
It’s then I realize I only have one hand!!
With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out and I see that I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.
Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker… Pacemaker??
Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I also live in a crappy neighborhood..
At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, ‘Sweetiepie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided who are you going to vote for in the Primary? Hillary or Obama?’
Say it isn’t so!!
I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish queer on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, oh dear God, please don’t tell me I’m a Democrat too..
Stolen From:
An Ol’ Broads Ramblings
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