Archive for the 'Humor, or is it?' Category

A Nightmare!

Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

In the interest of fairness, and in holding with my policy of being an ‘equal opportunity racist‘, I am guessing this post will offend nearly everyone! Yeah, it’s old and corny, but it made me laugh, and Ol’ Broad sent it, so, here ya go, enjoy it and laugh, or not, your choice.

A Nightmare!

In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I’m circumcised!?

Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver’s license photo and it was that same color. Black.

I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it’s a wheelchair!!

That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I’m also disabled!!

I said to myself, aloud ‘This is impossible. It’s impossible that I should be black, Jewish and disabled.’

‘It’s the pure and holy truth’, whispers someone from behind me.

I turn around, and it’s my boyfriend.

Just what I needed!! I’m a homosexual, and on top of that I have a Mexican boyfriend..

Oh, my God… Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, and then I discover that I’m also a drug addict and HIV-positive!!

Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and… Oh, noooooo.. I’m bald!!!

The telephone rings. It’s my brother.

He is saying, ‘Since Mom and Dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of crap… Any job.’

Mom?… Dad?… Nooooooooo… Now I’m also an unemployed orphan??

I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you’re black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan.. But he doesn’t get it..

Frustrated, I hang up.

It’s then I realize I only have one hand!!

With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out and I see that I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses! There is trash everywhere.

Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker… Pacemaker??

Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart, I also live in a crappy neighborhood..

At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, ‘Sweetiepie, my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided who are you going to vote for in the Primary? Hillary or Obama?’

Say it isn’t so!!

I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed, drug addicted, Jewish queer on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, oh dear God, please don’t tell me I’m a Democrat too..

Stolen From:
An Ol’ Broads Ramblings

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Archie Bunker on Gun Control

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

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Sign in a store window

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008


This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia .

You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.

However, we are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.

And after all, it is just a sign.

You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign.

Answer: A Funeral Home
(Who said morticians had no sense of humor?)

You gotta love it!!!

God Bless America

P.S. Al, this is especially for you!! Love ya Bro!!

And a BIG Hat Tip to my buddy Rich @ Isn’t it Rich for sending this to me…

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Caption This…

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

Behold Kunta Kinte, the only thing greater than yourself,
an EVIL white woman pandering for your vote.

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Dear Abby…

Friday, January 25th, 2008

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat.

He has cheated on me from the beginning, and when I confront him, he denies everything.

What’s worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me.

It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one.

All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies,while I have to work to pay the bills.

Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him.

Good grief, woman! You don’t need him anymore!

You’re a Senator from New York running for President of the United States.

Act like one!


H/T to Dudleys Diary

The Next Democratic Debate??

Thursday, January 24th, 2008
I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the next Democrat Party debate. I figure here’s how it might shake out:

Wolf: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 97th Democratic Party Primary Candidates’ Debates, hosted this evening by CNN. I’m Wolf Blitzer, and with us this evening are Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama …

Edwards: Hey, Wolf! What about me?

Wolf: Oh, … right. Sorry. Former Senator John Edwards is also here. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Senator Obama, it has been observed that the fool who currently occupies the White House has damaged the image of the American Presidency, both at home and abroad. Do you feel that you are the best candidate to restore that tarnished image?

Obama: Well, I damned sure would do a better job at it than Fat Ass over there would.

Wolf: Senator Obama, ….. I don’t think ……

Hillary: Oh, you’re talking real tough tonight, asshole. Snort a couple extra lines before the debate, did you?

Wolf: Senators, please!

Obama: Lines? You wanna talk lines? How ‘bout that shit on yo’ face, bitch?

Edwards: Hey, I’m in this debate too.

Wolf: Senators! Maybe we should hear from John Edwards.

Obama: Nobody gives a shit what he has to say.

Hillary: Edwards? He can kiss my ass.

Obama: Nobody wanna kiss THAT ass. You and your punk-ass husband, common criminals, both of you. Your asses should be in the stir. And you’re out there talking booshit about me? I oughta smack the shit outta boaf o’ you!

Hillary: F****** N*****!

Obama: F****** C***!

The candidates had to be separated by Secret Service personnel. The debate was terminated when Mr. Blitzer fainted. Spokespersons for the candidates have refused comment on the likelihood of a 98th debate.

Proudly stolen from Parkway Rest Stop

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‘Elvis’ does Mardi Gras…

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

We’re really enjoying New Orleans, the weather is good, the beer is COLD and the food is great… Happy Mardi Gras, Fat Tuesday will be here soon and I am laying off the peanut butter, banana and bacon sammiches… Thank ya man, thank ya very much!