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The TRUTH about Sarah Palin

September 3rd, 2008 . by TexasFred
The TRUTH about Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin’s Rice Krispies Bubbles don’t go snap, crackle, pop..they go “Oh shit…quiet!!!..here she comes..”

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.

Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane.

Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin kills polar bears, with her teeth.

Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Russia sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not bow to autocracy.

Alaskan wolf packs give Sara Palin first dibs on their kills.

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.

Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

We’ll never know who would win a cage match between Chuck Norris and Sarah Palin because no cage ever constructed can hold her.

Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

Little-known fact: “Sarah Palin” is an adopted name. Her birth name is unknown, but her brother’s birth name was “Kal-El.”

Sarah Palin told Mother Nature to calm down and stop spoiling her party: Gustav immediately dropped to Cat 2

When Sarah Palin smiles, Chuck Norris hides.

Sarah Palin doesn’t need to hunt bears, they give her their skins and then beg for mercy.

A deadly snake bit Sarah Palin once..after three days of nausea, pain, vomiting, chills, fever and convulsions….the snake died.

Sarah Palin, she makes Wonder Woman look like a wimp!

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19 Responses to “The TRUTH about Sarah Palin”

  1. comment number 1 by: Robert

    I heard Sarah Palin boarded a plane headed to France, upon hearing she was coming France surrendered.
    These are great.

  2. comment number 2 by: GUYK

    You need to add that she is GOOD LOOKIN’ !!!

  3. comment number 3 by: ChrisWy

    Did you get these from Frank J? His daily “Fred Thompson Fact” posts were in a similar vein.

    Very funny, I’m going to pass these on to my liberal friends.

  4. comment number 4 by: TexasFred

    Who is Frank J.?? :?

  5. comment number 5 by: Mover Mike » Sarah Palin, The Davy Crockett of the North

    [...] Texas Fred has some fun facts about the legendary Sarah Palin: Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard. [...]

  6. comment number 6 by: The BoBo

    Aha!!! Now I know exactly why I like this woman!

  7. comment number 7 by: Bull

    Both The Bull and Lady Beth are in love with Gov. Palin!

    Please, God, get her into office! We beg of thee!
    Amen.

  8. comment number 8 by: rtaylor83305

    She’s an inspiration to women everywhere… She’s awesome and has the Dims running scared.

  9. comment number 9 by: rtaylor83305

    Oh, yeah…. swiped it, too, for ATAW (with proper thanks, of course)

  10. comment number 10 by: Bluto

    No wonder Andrea Mitchell is so intimidated.

  11. comment number 11 by: rgroland

    She is one tough woman!! She will shred OBiden in the debate!!!

  12. comment number 12 by: ChrisWy

    Frank J is the proprietor of IMAO.us. Check out his blog, I think you’ll like it.

  13. comment number 13 by: silent E speaks - Conservatively Speaking from Western Waukesha County » The Truth About Sarah Palin

    [...] Truth About Sarah Palin By silent e Courtesy of Texas Fred. Sarah Palin’s Rice Krispies Bubbles don’t go snap, crackle, pop..they go “Oh [...]

  14. comment number 14 by: BobF

    I think this covers most of the men here.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYdmhPqRHdo

  15. comment number 15 by: Kate

    Yup! Swiped! :)

  16. comment number 16 by: JTEX

    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! YOU’RE AN INSPIRATION FRED!

  17. comment number 17 by: Right Truth

    These are great.

  18. comment number 18 by: nunoftheabove

    OH NO!!!! I may have to change my moniker, cause I now have a choice I can be happy with.

  19. comment number 19 by: Sage

    Hilarious….absolutely Hilarious!!!
    Great post Fred, keep it up :)

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