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The TRUTH about Sarah Palin

September 3rd, 2008 . by TexasFred
The TRUTH about Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin’s Rice Krispies Bubbles don’t go snap, crackle, pop..they go “Oh shit…quiet!!!..here she comes..”

Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience.

Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.

Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.

When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

Sarah Palin knows the location of DB Cooper’s body because she threw him from the plane.

Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

Global Warming doesn’t kill polar bears. Sarah Palin kills polar bears, with her teeth.

Sarah Palin knows how old the Chinese gymnasts are.

Russia sold Alaska to America because Sarah Palin would not bow to autocracy.

Alaskan wolf packs give Sara Palin first dibs on their kills.

Sarah Palin will give birth to the man who will lead humanity’s war against the machines.

Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.

Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

We’ll never know who would win a cage match between Chuck Norris and Sarah Palin because no cage ever constructed can hold her.

Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.

Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

Little-known fact: “Sarah Palin” is an adopted name. Her birth name is unknown, but her brother’s birth name was “Kal-El.”

Sarah Palin told Mother Nature to calm down and stop spoiling her party: Gustav immediately dropped to Cat 2

When Sarah Palin smiles, Chuck Norris hides.

Sarah Palin doesn’t need to hunt bears, they give her their skins and then beg for mercy.

A deadly snake bit Sarah Palin once..after three days of nausea, pain, vomiting, chills, fever and convulsions….the snake died.

Sarah Palin, she makes Wonder Woman look like a wimp!

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