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A Few Good Laughs

May 25th, 2010 . by TexasFred

Time for a bit of levity. These made me laugh!


Make sure you study these to learn proper guy etiquette!

1. Thou shall not rent the movie “Chocolat”

2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow party-goers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy’s wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent)

7. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is
forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.

11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy’s “ex”, you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man’s zipper is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see nothin’.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend’s cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you’ll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless supermodel… and it’s free.

20. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, “What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin”, then you may sit back and enjoy.

23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: “Yeah, baby, push it!” “C’mon, give me one more! “Harder!” “Another set and we can hit the showers.” “Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?”

24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That’s just plain mean.

25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she’s withholding sex pending your response.

27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you’re on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not, unless you are gay.

Texas vs California

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With US support, SKorea cuts trade with North

May 24th, 2010 . by TexasFred

With US support, SKorea cuts trade with North

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) - South Korea’s president cut trade to North Korea vowing the country would “pay a price” for a torpedo attack that killed 46 sailors, and promised to haul its impoverished neighbor before the U.N. Security Council.

Full Story Here:
With US support, SKorea cuts trade with North

The S. Korean president has promised to haul N. Korea before the U.N. Security Council?

Well, that oughta do it, North Korea is quite likely shaking in their sandals right about now. The U.N. Security Council?

That’s enough to strike fear into the heart of any rogue nation! :P

The White House offered its full support for South Korea’s moves, and U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton discussed with China, a veto-wielding permanent seat holder on the Security Council, how best to handle the precarious situation.

Rumor has it that a container ship, fully loaded with several brands of domestic beer, has left the port of Seattle headed for South Korea. Full Support from the Obama White House? That says one thing to me: BEER SUMMIT!

North Korea has benefited from trade with South Korea, though not to the point where its economy has become dependent on its rival. Pyongyang’s trade with close ally China, for example, is bigger.

North Korea trading with China is just fine with me. They’re as entitled to Chinese crap as we are, and North Korean kids need lead based painted toys, cadmium coated toys, toys that present a choking hazard as much as any American kid.

Just a guess on my part but I am thinking that Wal-Mart needs a Super Center in Pyongyang.

“We have always tolerated North Korea’s brutality, time and again. We did so because we have always had a genuine longing for peace on the Korean peninsula,” President Lee Myung-bak said in a solemn speech to the nation from the halls of the country’s War Memorial.

“But now things are different. North Korea will pay a price corresponding to its provocative acts,” he said.

Yeah, whatever, talk is cheap. Tolerance of your enemy is why they struck you to begin with. Let me give a prime example, the American idea of *live and let live*.

Americans tolerated radical Islam for many years. We were provoked, prodded and probed, we were tested and Islam found us vulnerable. That was why 9-11 occurred. That was why the WTC was bombed the first time. That’s why the Iranian hostage situation came about. Marine Barracks Beirut. Many other attacks and provocations.

After every attack the American people were angry. We had presidents that vowed to make the guilty pay. We would engage in some sort of military action and soon after it would all blow over and most Americans went right back to the apathetic lives and forgot all about it!

America still faces threats from radical Islam. We face them every day, and yet, I don’t see any lesson being taught to Islam. I don’t see any decisive battles being waged in Afghanistan, I see a U.S. president and military leaders that are again allowing *feelings* to get in the way of victory and are letting political correctness dictate their actions.

I see reports nearly every day of suicide bombers killing scores of innocents in Iraq.

I don’t see any massive infusion of border security being put into place to stop the invasion that IS happening along our southern bored, an invasion that plays well for our enemies as they take advantage of American apathy and ineffective leadership.

What I do see is the United States getting involved, once again, in securing another nation, not our own.

I see the United States spending billions of tax dollars that we just don’t have. I see the United States risking, and in all probability, losing the lives of American troops in an effort to make the South Korean people safe and secure from invasions and hostilities from the North Koreans.

The United States government will post an estimated $1.5 trillion budget deficit this year, and our debt is projected to equal 140 percent of gross domestic product within two decades.

We have more than enough trouble right here in America. When does the ineffective *Boy* in the White House take the American people into consideration first? When does Barack Hussein Obama wake up and realize, this is NOT going to work any longer. We are broke! We can’t keep on being the peacemaker for the entire world.

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Obama Outlines National Security Strategy

May 22nd, 2010 . by TexasFred

Obama Outlines National Security Strategy

11:03 a.m. Updated WEST POINT, N.Y. – President Obama outlined a new national security strategy rooted in diplomatic engagement and international alliances on Saturday as he repudiated his predecessor’s emphasis on unilateral American power and the right to wage preemptive war.

Eight years after President George W. Bush came to the United States Military Academy to set a new course for American security in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks, Mr. Obama used the same setting to offer a revised doctrine, one that vowed no retreat against American enemies while seeking “national renewal and global leadership.”

“Yes, we are clear-eyed about the shortfalls of our international system,” the president told graduating cadets. “But America has not succeeded by stepping outside the currents of international cooperation. We have succeeded by steering those currents in the direction of liberty and justice – so nations thrive by meeting their responsibilities, and face consequences when they don’t.”

Mr. Obama said the United States “will be steadfast in strengthening those old alliances that have served us so well” while also trying to “build new partnerships and shape stronger international standards and institutions.” He added: “This engagement is not an end in itself. The international order we seek is one that can resolve the challenges of our times.”

Full Story Here:
Obama Outlines National Security Strategy

The Obama National Security Agenda:

1. Blame Bush
2. Hold a *beer summit* in the rose garden
3. Allow foreign leaders free speech on the floor of the U.S. Congress
4. Quote from the Koran, in a PERFECT Arabic accent.
5. Mention that surrender to Islam is a real possibility
6. Blame Bush

Obama at West Point — 2010

Well, I have to say at least one good thing for Obama, after a while, and after tons of national outrage and criticism, he learned to place his hand over his heart during the playing of The National Anthem. Monkey see, monkey do?

And you have to admit, his handlers are getting much better at their jobs too. The red, white and blue business suit and tie is a really nice touch!

It’s taken well into the 2nd year of the Obama debacle to get this America hating cretin to even place his hand on his heart. That’s something that American children are raised knowing.

You stand, remove your hat or cap and place your hand over your heart during a presentation of *The Colors* and the playing of The Star Spangled Banner.

I say American children because I am one of those that believes Barack Hussein Obama, aka: Barry Soetoro, is NOT an American. Not by birth or by naturalization. I believe him to be a Muslim, albeit a stealth Muslim. I believe him to be set fully against the United States of America and I believe that he wishes to see this nation placed under dictatorial rule, with him as the dictator, and some form of Sharia Law being the law of the land as he personally tears up the United States Constitution and throws the pieces to the wind!

I personally believe that Barack Hussein Obama is a traitor to this nation, in every sense of the word. The recent display of anti-Americanism, by him, Attorney General Eric Holder, Secretary Janet Napolitano and members of Congress, as they stood and applauded a foreign president bash American laws, stands in testament to those beliefs!

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White House, Democrats Applaud Mexican President

May 21st, 2010 . by TexasFred

White House, Democrats Applaud Mexican President

WASHINGTON — As Mexican President Felipe Calderon ripped Arizona’s new law clamping down on illegal immigrants in front of Congress on Thursday, Democrats and White House officials rose to their feet to cheer, including Attorney General Eric Holder and Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano — two officials who have confessed to not even reading the law.

And that isn’t sitting well with officials from states along the border. SOURCE

I have been too angry to post much on the debacle that took place on the lawn of the White House or the floor of the Congress of this nation. I am appalled to say the very least!

The President of the United States stood idly by, in FULL AGREEMENT with Calderon as he lambasted this nation, and Arizona in particular, for the immigration law that was recently passed and is overwhelmingly approved by the voters of THIS nation!

The Dems in Congress, and I am told, a few Republicans, applauded Calderon as he blasted the laws of THIS land from the floor of Congress.

Both of the gentlemen in the YouTube videos below have spoken against Calderon, McClintock speaking a bit more forcefully than King. And yes, McClintock did speak against Calderon from the floor of Congress, AFTER Calderon was gone, AFTER the Dems, the AG and a few dumber than dog crap RINOs got up and applauded for the Mexican bastard.


Those words are commendable, I am glad the gentlemen spoke up, but there is a question that keeps nagging me, and I just can’t seem to come up with an answer.


Political correctness and politeness are one thing, to allow the United States to be verbally attacked, on the floor of Congress, by the president of Mexico is, in MY opinion, an unforgivable act by ALL of our lawmakers.

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