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The Husband Store

January 29th, 2010 . by TexasFred

Every so often I get an email joke that is just too good to keep to myself. This is one of those occasions and I have to share this with all of you! ~Fred~

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, a store where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the
sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.

There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, have money, and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited…

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21 Responses to “The Husband Store”

  1. comment number 1 by: HoosierArmyMom

    Wow… you sexist dog you!!!! LOL!!! I don’t know about anyone else but I would have been looking for qualities like loyal, honest, and patriotic. But I’m a geezer gal, so what do I know??? LOL!!!

    Guys are happy with the shallow stuff???? THAT is a joke!!!! Brahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!

    Good one Fred!!! LMBO!!!!

  2. comment number 2 by: TexasFred

    Shallow?? :?

    Sex, money and beer… The only thing that could make it ANY better would be GUNS, NASCAR and football.. :P

  3. comment number 3 by: Patrick Sperry

    Ya forgot fishing Fred!

  4. comment number 4 by: TexasFred

    Yeah… Fishing too!! :P

  5. comment number 5 by: HoosierArmyMom

    You guys are incorrigible!!! LOL!!! You forgot big boobs and a truck!!! Brahahahahaha!!!!

  6. comment number 6 by: TexasFred

    Some of us actually DO have higher standards!! LMAO :P

  7. comment number 7 by: TexasFred

    HAM, if she has money, we can buy her some big boobs and a pickup truck… Gotta have a pickup to pull the Bass Boat to the lake… :P

  8. comment number 8 by: HoosierArmyMom

    Sigh…. what a bunch of romantics you all are!!!! :-D

  9. comment number 9 by: TexasFred

    HAM… This isn’t about *romance*, this is about sex, beer, big boobs, guns, Bass Boats, fishing, NASCAR and football…

    Romance?? Does eating some MREs with a paper cup of Wal-Mart wine by fire light at the fish camp in the moonlight count? :?

  10. comment number 10 by: HoosierArmyMom

    Sadly, for some, it would!!! LOL!!!!! Brahahahahaha!!!!!!

  11. comment number 11 by: TexasFred

    Well, there ya go! :mrgreen:

  12. comment number 12 by: HoosierArmyMom

    You need to add another tag… “what no one ever gets!” LOL!!!

  13. comment number 13 by: TexasFred

    Au contraire mon ami… My wife is into beer, guns, Bass Boats, fishing, NASCAR and football and she’s a hard core Conservative…

    I am a lucky man!! :P

    If we only had $$$ :(

  14. comment number 14 by: HoosierArmyMom

    You are proof that you can’t have everything, but you can have what is really of value. :-) You and the Mrs are both pretty fortunate I’d say, especially when you add your lovely family into the mix.

    Hey, did you notice that Patrick jumped in, stirred things up and then disappeared??? What an instigator!!! LOL!!!!

  15. comment number 15 by: Ron Russell

    Word press is crazy today, or maybe just me-still unsteady , the Silver Fox is gone and my true self is here. A new version of the old corn row story. This woman must be a progressive, a good conservative woman would never do this. You know progressives are always looking for that perfection that doesn’t exist anywhere. No one said anything about the “boys night out”!

  16. comment number 16 by: TexasFred

    If I have a big boobed beer drinking sweetheart with money, a bass boat, a new pickup and guns that’s a NASCAR fan and a football buddy too, why do I need a *Boys Night Out*? :?

    I am NOT hard to please… :D

  17. comment number 17 by: Ron Russell

    To bragg about it to your buddies while sipping that cold one Fred. Half the fun of having all those goodies is being able to talk about them.

  18. comment number 18 by: jd3

    Here’s one for you “shallow” men…

    Men I have found the perfect girl…
    She’s all you can ask for and more…
    She’s deaf and dumb…
    …and oversexed…..
    ..and owns a liquor store….

  19. comment number 19 by: jd3

    Many, many years ago I was dating a young woman and I called her one day to tell her that I wouldn’t be picking her up on Saturday as usual….I declared that I was going out with the boys…..she said, “Good, I will too!” I said, “I’ll be there at seven!”

  20. comment number 20 by: TexasFred

    I have NEVER wanted a night out with *The Boys*… When I was young and single I wanted MY nights with *The Girls*…

    Guys just never did turn me on… :P

  21. comment number 21 by: Annie Oakley

    Fred, with the beer, fishing boat, (Ford F150 4×4~yep my plug. Best truck I ever owned!) Nascar, Nfl, NRA, gun toting Conservative wife……why would you need to leave anyway? Oh yeah, gotta get more ammo….funny posts!

    Who needs money anyway if what you have is what you want and it makes you happy. Living simple is my rule!! That’s what Hank Williams Jr sings about in a Country Gal Can Survive!! hehehehe

    Oh yeah, I think your bud might have a hard time hooking up with a Progressive on this site (j/k Ron, but seriously…