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Laughter is STILL the best medicine

October 10th, 2010 . by TexasFred

Laughter is STILL the best medicine

I got this via email from a buddy that wanted me to feel better, I have been very sick for several days, it must have worked… Maybe now you’ll feel better too.

Feeling Unappreciated??

The next time you feel that nobody loves you, no one cares, or that no one ever notices you, think of this guy:

Things Got Ya Down? Well Then, Consider These…

In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural.

No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson , the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Still Having a Bad Day?

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day?

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places.

Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What? STILL having a Bad Day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with ‘Return to Sender’ stamped on it.

Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits. God is good!

There now, Feeling Better?

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12 Responses to “Laughter is STILL the best medicine”

  1. comment number 1 by: Vigilante

    Gee, hate to hear that you been sick Fred. Hope you’re feeling better now since your e-mail friend sent ya some feel better medicine. Reading all the sickening crapola on this blog everyday and night would have a tendency to make anybody sick………at least depressed!!!! and I’ve heard that depression leads to sickness and I believe that’s true.
    Anyway, you read like you’re back now so good on ya.
    Glad you’re back……..

  2. comment number 2 by: James Shott

    Not having a bad day, but a chuck or two never hurts.

    Hope you mend quickly, Fred.

  3. comment number 3 by: TexasFred

    Vigilante — I guess I’m OK now, I did what I have done for years, went and got a flu shot. This time, a week later, I came down with the damned flu… :?

  4. comment number 4 by: ablur

    Those were great Fred. I have been sick and needed the laugh. And then the cough. and then the box of kleenex.
    I think I am okay now.

  5. comment number 5 by:

    Fred, After this I hope you and all your readers have a full recovery.

    A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. ‘Human beings are the only animals that stutter,’ she says.

    A little girl raises her hand. ‘I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.’

    The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

    ‘Well’, she began, ‘I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!’

    ‘That must have been scary,’ said the teacher.

    ‘It sure was,’ said the little girl.

    ‘My kitty raised her back, went “Ffffff! Ffffff!, Ffffff,” but before she could say ‘Fuck!,’ the Rottweiler ate her!’

    The teacher had to leave the room.

  6. comment number 6 by: Bloviating Zeppelin

    Oooooh, God IS good. . .

    Sorry to hear about the punies. I can clearly recall one year I acquired my own flu shot for the aged. It was, oddly enough, that year in which I acquired the flu.

    I am not quite so convinced about flu shots and certainly not about H1N1 shots.


  7. comment number 7 by: James Shott

    Haven’t taken a flu shot since the USAF made me back in 70.

    Haven’t had the flu, either.

    Hope that continues.

  8. comment number 8 by: Steve Dennis

    Hope you are feeling better, thanks for the laughs!

  9. comment number 9 by: Bob Mack

    Via e-mail: In 1972, Joe Miller was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Tulsa Junior College. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Joe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Joe worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

    The elephant turned to Joe, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Joe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

    Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

    Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not help wondering if this was the same elephant… Joe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Joe’s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

    Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

  10. comment number 10 by: WhoBeen

    Fred liked that last one (the elephant story)…he sent it out as an email just in case you forgot to log on to Texas Fred today

  11. comment number 11 by: HoosierArmyMom

    Fred it’s always horrible when a friend gets sick, I hope you are back to 100%. Thanks for the jokes! I laughed my butt off!!!

  12. comment number 12 by: Annie Oakley

    Fred, that was funny. I needed the laugh!! I agree with Hoosiermama, hate to hear your sick. I’ll be glad when you feel like a million bucks again. Hang in there friend!